Eli Cash - Contributing Reporter
Ryan Fisher fires PR firm
After years of listening to Dizzy this and Dizzy that ever year Hall of Fame voting season, Ryan Fisher has officially fired his public relations firm. No more "Dizzy has given up the most walks in Cobbfather history!" or "Who hasn't scored a run on Dizzy?". It may be the unpopular opinion in the blogosphere; but if this writer had a vote you better believe I'd be voting in Ryan Fisher over Dizzy. Fans should be clamoring for Fisher to join the Hall of Fame, including the Dizzy Leonard Hall of Dizzy Leonard as the second player to ever be inducted.
Little known fact, Leonard isn't the sole owner of the League's most Losses, he is in fact tied with Ryan Fisher. An accomplishment Fisher is very proud of. The game ball from his last loss is mounted in a glass case in his double wide trailer in Kennewick, Washington. The signed ball's value has skyrocketed since his retirement following Season 39, increasing in value by 1/1,000,000,000 of a cent every 100 years. It may be worth less than a regular t-ball this year, but one day it will be gold! I'll have you know Fisher even has as many Hit Batters as Dizzy.
I'll tell you one thing, Dizzy doesn't want the media to get a hold of his comparison to Fisher. Leonard is no better than the crickets and rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. Fisher bests Dizzy in all the ratios OAV, OBP, SLG, WHIP, ERA, and even his inseam. Fisher had 12 seasons below a 4.00 ERA compared to Dizzy's 5. He even struck out 311 more batters (he's 4th most all time), gave ups 85 less home runs all in 107 less innings. Fisher was even a better fielder than the Dizzy one, and might I add; he even has a better batting average. Let's count Cy Young awards, Fisher 1 - Leonard 0. Now for No Hitters, Fisher 1 - Leonard 0. To further prove his value, Fisher made a combined $157M to Leonard's $88M; so even Free Agency agrees that Fisher is the better more valuable player. By the way, I know what you're thinking and it's a really nice double wide!
A true fan can't tell me they'd prefer Dizzy's puny 5'-10" frame over the Fish. He may not have as many Hits & Home Runs allowed, or even number of pitches thrown; but you know what to do; go VOTE Ryan Fisher, Season 46 Cobbfather Hall of Fame! I'll even send you a fancy sticker you can post on your instagram feed.