Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Meet the Owner - fosterdj3

Catherine Trammell - Contributing Reporter


Q: Tell us about fosterdj3. What is he like? What does he do in his spare time when not obsessing over your rosters?

A: My spare time is spent collecting four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet to make sure that I beat that loser in Chicago every year. I also like to fish.

Q: Besides having the opportunity to beat the commissioner of the league on a regular basis, what did you like most about taking over your (now) Tucson franchise?

A: The canucks are whatever. But these halfwits in Buffalo and Chicago, crashing through tables in parking lots, eating their casserole and telling us it's pizza. Omar Gonzales is coming for them in weather appropriate clothing.

Q: Having made the World Series last season, where do you feel your team needs the most improvement?

A: There's a pitcher in my bullpen named Ted Rando. He's complete and total dogshit. Everyone was saying how good we was for the locker room, but then I realized they were actually talking about Ted Lasso. I should probably cut that guy.

Q: What is your favorite part about building a franchise? Do you try to make a lot of trades? Would you rather build through the draft or IFA? Or just buy a team like Steinbrenner used to do?

A: People don't send me trades because they're cowards, so I have to focus on getting more draft picks than everyone else while artificially raising the price of every single important free agent out of spite.

Q: Of your current roster, who do you like most? Promise they will never read these articles? What about prospects? Who are you looking forward to the ML team in the next couple of seasons?

A: Omar Gonzales is the best player in the world. He's never playing anywhere else. He's going to hit 1,000 homers. The prospects coming up next will be whoever high fives Omar the best.

Q: What are your goals for the upcoming season? Do you expect to repeat as division and NL champion?

A: Wake me up for Tuba Time. That's what we call the playoffs around here. Tuba Time.

Q: Know your only in your second season here at Cobbfather, but what has been your favorite aspect(s) so far?

A: Other than the fact that you chumps in the National League just roll out the red carpet for new owners to cruise to the World Series in their first year? idk, the blog seems alright.

Q: What advice would you give a new owner in Cobbfather? Besides making sure to ignore most conversations with Ploppie?

A: I don't know who that is. My advice is to try and play Chicago in as many games as you can.

Q: Any final thoughts going into the Season?

A; The "Messiah's" in Portland need an SP alright, right after their stupid misspelled nickname. Joker in OKC spelled "Barrens" wrong, too. Are we done here? See y'all at the championship parade in Tuscon. Wear your best hat.