Tuesday, June 27, 2023

S56 Predictions

Jack Torrance - contributing reporter

Skynet ran 1 billion-zillion simulations, or maybe they lied and just ran one; on the league and here are the majority winners. The website FiveThirtyEight confirmed these as the favored to win. Even the Vegas strippers agreed these are the favored and they can always be trusted right? Right?

  • American League
    • AL North: Philadelphia Harpers showed up against last season. We expect them to do the same this one. Minny made a few moves this offseason to improve their ML roster, like defensive minded Bart Higley, speedster Steve Lalli, World Series Champion catcher Vic Chavez, but we still expect the division to end a few series before the end of the season. Really it comes down to what Philly can do in the playoffs. Something they've struggled with the last 3 seasons. 
    • AL East: Atlanta Expos, the division is still there's to lose and likely the favorite for the next couple of seasons but the Boston Baseball Team is coming on strong, having gone from a 60 win team S53 to 93 in S55. Let's see if they can cross the 100 win line this season. A wild card is surely in their sights. 
    • AL South: Houston Space Cowboys, are the World Series champs and are more than deserving of this prediction at the top of the division. Huntington slipped a bit last season, even with the promotion of another top rookie. Let's see how they do after adding .300+ hitter Rip Bromberg at the hot corner this off-season from Pitt. 
    • AL West: Salt Lake City Punk! take the division that nobody wants to win after another busy off-season trading. Colorado Springs gets a year older and fights but doesn't succeed. But the real question is, will SLC have a winning record when they win the division? Vegas says its 50-50.
    • Wildcard: Boston Baseball TeamHuntington Tropics  claim the two wildcard slots, leaving Minnesota as the odd team out. No real changes in the next season for the AL. 
  • National League
    • NL North: Chicago Gunslingers won the division by double digit games, but the Hartford Rising Stars edged out Chicago in the playoffs. But once again we think these are the top two teams in the NL; but only one can secure a first round bye. Will we miss out on predications of the NL North for the second year straight? 
    • NL East: In a surprise, the defending champs, Houston Space Cowboys actually end up winning the NL East. Pittsburgh Yinzers traded away any value the clubhouse had remaining in an attempt to start a rebuild. Buffalo needs to restack, Columbus is trying but could still use the improvement. And DC with it's owner in his first full year still has a battle ahead of him. Congrats to Houston for winning two division titles this season!  
    • NL South: New Orleans Hurricane Dodgers team will mostly be returning so we don't see any reason why they wouldn't secure a 6th straight division title. Ploppie changes team names more than he changes his underwear says NOHD's press secretary. The team fails to win 100 games for the first time since S50. 
    • NL West: Vancouver Canucks repeat as division champs and not because the commissioner paid us to say so...okay, maybe he did. But we think the canadian team nobody cares about, oh wait Montreal still has a team, ends up taking it the final series of the season. Vancouver will be a tough fight and claim their second straight division title after tying the franchise record for most wins last year. This year they will have a full year of Gross, so it will be interesting for sure.  
    • Wildcard: Hartford Rising Stars & Oklahoma City Barons. We just aren't seeing any new teams creep into the playoff race this season. The new owner in the NL South Charleston very well could be a surprise runner up.  
  • Playoffs
    • American League
      • Houston and Atlanta once again secure first round byes. The Baseball Team top the Punk! while the Harpers knock out the Tropics.  Houston and Atlanta win and once again meet each other for the American League title for the 3rd straight year. Boring, the TV ratings are showing this doesn't interest the league any more, and it's time for some new blood. 
    • National League
      • Chicago and New Orleans get the bye with Hartford besting...the NL East....again. And OKC gets revenge and tops Vancouver. In a pair of rematches in the NLDS, Chicago topes Hartford this year and OKC wins again against New Orleans. This time we see Chicago take the W over the Barons and advancing to the World Series as the National League champs.  
      • World Series
        • AL (Not sure who won, I feel sleep reading this portion of the sim) tops the NL (Chicago) in 5 games and continues the streak of AL World Series wins.