Fat Cats S55

 Jessica Fletcher - contributing reporter

Fat Cat - noun
/ˈfat ˌkat/ 

1. A player whose contract outweighs their performance. 
2. A Canadian whose downed too many Tim Horton timbits.

Let's see who makes that phat pay check but giving the team diet production. We've gotten a little stricter on what accounts for a Fat Cat but it's a salary above $4.5M, a wOBA below .310, and then taken into account HR, SB, R, and RBI totals. Lastly we took a look at their defensive measures, as plenty of Shortstops carry some value for what they offer on the field rather than the plate. For pitchers we've gone with an ERA+ below 95; which is still 105% worse than league average and then taken into account a pitchers W, SV, and K. For pitchers we've upped the salary to $5.5M. 

• Positions Players
• Catchers
• None this season
• First Basemen
• None this season
• Second Basemen
• Boone Hines (Anaheim Diablos - 29 yr old) - Thankfully on the last of the 3 year deal he signed as a FA. This year he hit .190; FYI this guy weighs 199) over 353 at-bats with a Cobbfather worse, wOBA of .248. Oh to be retired by age 30, one can dream. Hope he saved up that $16.2M he earned the last three seasons. 
• Gio Alburquerque (Milwaukee Metronomes  - 29 yr old) -  This was an Arb2 signing that guarantees he won't see Arb3. He hit .194 over 248 at-bats with a wOBA of .259 and Gio struck out more times than he had hits. 
• Shortstops
• Max Hernandez (New Orleans Smell - 29 yr old) - this one is a bit surprising given the year he gave the NOOFs in their championship run but just goes to show you how fickle baseball can be. Champion one year, Fat Cat the next. We'll see what the Smell do with him next year, the final year of his contract. Another player to hit below .200, tying Hines for worst wOBA in Cobbfather. The plus side for Max is the defense, but not strong enough to keep him off the list. 
• Third Basemen
• Carl Conine (Helena Hot Dogs - 26 yr old) - A career low for Carl, but we expect him to turn things around next year, assuming Helena keeps him for his Arb3 season or he resigns elsewhere. At least he has the burger joint still. Similar to Hernandez, he brings the defense at 3B/LF throughout this season, but a .260 wOBA hurts; even in the AL where you have a DH to up the ante. Conine is basically a good pitcher in the lineup. 
• Edwar Guerrero (Anaheim Diablos - 31 yr old) - Perhaps just a down year for Guerrero, but when it's bad, it's BAD. Typically a .247 hitter, he slumped for a .216 average, with a .266 wOBA. Lucky for him he's at least solid defensively. But anything below a .230 average will land you on this list. That's just too many "free" outs during a game. One more year remaining on his contract. 
• Chan Ho Jiang (New York Empire - 35 yr old) - Chan has done a lot over the course of his career and his ratings are starting to deminish, as was his playing time. He's a FA after this season and likely goes into forced retirement after hitting .233. In 400 at-bats he had 93 hits and 76 k, with only 38 walks. He was caught stealing 35% of the time. 
• Left Fielders
• None this season
• Center Fielders
• Don Hernandez (Buffalo Bisons - 28 yr old) - barely had over 300 at-bats but a wOBA of .264 is not good at all, but on the bright side of the 79 hits he had, he had 15 stolen bases - an 88% success rate so he did help the team out by grabbing that extra bag. His slugging percentage is bottom of the league, but HRs only matter in Hall of Fame voting and he won't be even close. But still, $5M for the season he had likely means he gets released for his Arb3 season unless Buffalo thinks he'll turn it around. 
• Right Fielders
• Charley Rhymes (Vancouver Canucks - 29 yr old) - nearly 500 at-bats for Rhymes on the division winning Canucks team, imagine if they had a league average bat in RF over Rhymes. You know, one who had less strikeouts than he had hits. Perhaps that could be their FA target for S56. 
• Jorge Johnson (Colorado Springs From My Loins - 37 yr old) - no doubt this one is about age and a declining skillset but if we know anything about this owner, he will continue to march Jorgey out there until he gets his 3,000 hit. But with only 124 of them this year and being 153 away, it MIGHT be by the end of his current contract, S57 that he gets there...if at all. We're rooting for you JJ! 
• Lou Porzio (Austin Sons' of Odin - 30 yr old) - For Porzio it doesn't help that he found himself with a neck injury that landed him on the 60 day DL after 360 at-bats, but he's contract for one more season at $6.5M. That's a lot to stomach for a player whose wOBA was .293 and  .238 average for a right fielder, the easiest position outside of 1B to field. A few seasons ago he was a 20+ HR, .285ish hitter; if he can return to that the value might be closer to breaking even. 
• Storm Phelps (Dover Hazmats - 34 yr old) - The storm ends this season, as he'll become a FA but a .221 average and .297 wOBA; I wouldn't expect any teams to be interested in bringing him on board for anything more than $2M. His wRC+ has his at 20% worse than league average. 
• Designated Hitters
• None this season
• Pitchers
• Starters - It's understandable that some teams need a body to fill, and there are anywhere from 128-160 starters at a minimum for each team but what exactly is the value of a back of the rotation arm; which is likely where most of these guys fall. 
• Erasmo James (Anaheim Diablos - 30 yr old) - ERA+ of 72 with a 5-18 record and a 1.52 WHIP should be enough to know about James. But we'll see more of James, considering he has 2/$12M remaining on his contract and without any options on the final year. 
• Yasmany Mercado (San Juan Fudds - 34 yr old) - Likely the worst of them all, paid $6M for 24 2/3 innings. Spent a ton of time in the minors, and worse on the Inactive list. When he was finally on the mound, he was 151% worse than league average, which explains the 1.91 WHIP. To compound the situation he's signed through S57 and has 2/$12.2M left on his deal. Luckily the last year is a mutual option that will be declined. 
• Relief Pitchers
• Alfredo De Aza (Huntington Tropics - 38 yr old) - Surprisingly De Aza did not see much decline in season, even at age 38, but his first full season with Huntington isn't what they thought they'd be getting when trading for him last season. 78 innings over 53 appearances to a 5.88 era and am 82 ERA+, so nearly 20% worse than league average; all that for $7M. Let's hope the next two seasons go better than this one. Looking like a much better trade for Colorado Springs each year. 
• Elvis McKay (Salt Lake City Punk!- 29) - At 25% worse than league average is the mop-up for SLC, a 1.40 whip, 6.04 era over 85 innings in 55 games. At 29 age is on his side, but he still has another 2 years remaining at $5.6M per. Though I will add, that even during his age 29 season as a DITR, he made some improvements across the board. 
• Gabby Lunsford (Austin Son's of Odin - 35 yr old) - had his worst season at age 35 since being acquired by Austin back in S49. 1.55 WHIP and a 83 ERA+. Let's see if he can turn things back around next season. 
• Rickey Kohn (New York Empire - 40) - $5.5M for a player who ended the season with a 51 OAV has to be tough but we all saw this coming, and timely might I add given New York's moved into rebuild mode. 70 innings a 1.60 WHIP and 60 ERA+, that's 40% worse than league average. Luckily this was the last year of his contract and he can retire in peace. Word has it, he's going to join Dizzy Leonard's softball team where he can finally pitch underhanded. 

There you have it folks, the Fat Cats of S54!