Friday, September 11, 2020

Dizzy Leonard 'Taken' Aback by Hall Snub

Chick Fontana - Contributing Reporter

In what was a suprise to no one other than perhaps Dizzy Leonard, the erstwhile former Cobbfather compiler did not make the cut to be elected into the Hall. Netting a paltry five votes, the longtime hurler's future chances look rather grim.  

When asked about the voting snub at his construction project next door, the hardhat wearing now turned foreman replied with an uncharacteristically dark visage, "Look, I don't know who those voters are.  I don't know what they want. If they are looking for wins and rings, I can tell you I didn't have enough.  But what I do have are a very particular set of skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like them.  If they do vote me into the Hall next year, that'll be the end of it.  I won't look for them.  I won't pursue them.  But if they don't, I will look for them, I will find them, and I will bean them with a fastball."

He then brightened up and added with a giant Oklahoma smile, "And if you too want to bean somebody in the head, you should absolutely visit the Hall of Dizzy Leonard, where you can enjoy the "Beanball Badass!" attraction, where anyone who wishes to dispense the unwritten rules of baseball justice can do so!  Bring your best fastball and wild pitches!"

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Indeed in looking at the upcoming plans it was announced that the price of admission ticket did include the Beanball Badass attraction, as well as the Walk the Walk, Ground Out Grinder, and Even Biggerest Loser attractions.