Delroy Cashdollar - Contributing Reporter
In what can only be described as a tremendously audacious move, retired pitcher Dizzy Leonard has taken his Hall of Fame candidacy into his own hands. In a zoom conference from his ranch outside of Clayton, OK, Leonard announced that he had purchased a property in Cooperstown adjacent to the Hall of Fame, and was establishing the "Hall of Dizzy Leonard." As he munched on some pork rinds in the grainy zoom feed he explained, "I don't know if these 'qualified voters' or whatever they want to call themselves these days truly recognize my greatness. I deserve to be in that Hall next door, but if they won't vote me in, I'll build an even bigger and better hall!"
When asked what the Hall of Dizzy Leonard would contain within it to attract museum goers when compared to artifacts from the playing days of such greats as Sammy Felix, Johnny Sherman, Mendy Kondou, Thomas Hutchinson, and other all time legends of the game, Leonard explained,
"You see, what my hall will have that no other hall will is all of my stuff. I have my collection of oversized belt buckles, the three mobile homes which I thought were a good idea to buy when the pandemic hit, my Little League trophies, this really neat shirt a groupie bought for me one time, and my collection of antique Power Wheel toys. You see, you won't find anything like that in the Hall of Fame over there," he added with a dismissive wave.
Asked if he thought he still had a chance to be enshrined in the Cobbfather Hall of Fame, he answered testily, "Look, I'm a *THREE TIME* All Star, 264 wins, over 3K strikeouts, and almost as many bullpen chicken and beer sessions. I AM A LEGEND OF THE GAME, and I belong in that Hall just as surely as my Spinning D brand belongs on every cattle in one of my herds."
He took a gulp of his Coors Light, and then added, "Also I have a limited time offer where if you vote for me I'll send you some steaks, fresh cut. You can't pass up on this Prime grade beef, so vote for Dizzy!"
We'll know in a few days if his campaign is successful, but if not he'll still have his place in Cooperstown, even if it is next door.
