Swami Naktap - Special to Cobbfather Post Gazette
AL South
Florida Shark Waves (112-50, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap sees yet another season of Jaws induced terror for the rest of the league, as the Shark Waves did not lose any of their teeth from last season. In fact, swami says that Florida may have grown another row of deadly sharp razors with the feeding frenzy of trades that took place in the offseason. Naktap sees the rest of the AL as chum in the water for the Florida Shark Waves.
Prediction: 111-51 - 1st place
Monterrey Ducks (102-60, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap feels bad for the Ducks. It is not an easy feat to win 102 games, and still finish ten games back in your division. But Naktap knows that the Ducks have the hearts of lions, and will rebound to give it another attempt. Swami says that Stuart Paulson will have another year to remember in the annals of all time Duckdom, and that Monterrey should take a wildcard spot.
Prediction: 99-63 - 2nd place
Wichita Heat Wave (60-102, 3rd place)
--Swami Naktap sees a team that made a very good decision in moving from Santa Fe to Wichita. But Naktap doesn't see the defense and pitching needed to utilize the cavernous Lawrence-Dumont Stadium. Swami says that the Heat Wave lineup will be complaining bitterly to management about their lack of hits and how it will affect their contract and arbitration negotiations, and sees the potential for corked bats by the end of the season. Still, it will be an improvement over last season, and swami knows that the Heat Wave are the coolest thing in Wichita.
Prediction: 72-90 - 3rd place
Mexico City Gringos (47-115, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap didn't know how to define the Gringos, so he looked them up. Gringo (feminine, gringa) is a Spanish and Portuguese word used in Latin America to denote foreign Spanish- and foreign Portuguese-speakers (regardless of race), especially English-speakers from the U.S., and Canadians, Britons, Australians, and Kiwis, and some Latin Americans. Hispanophones disagree whether or not gringo is derogatory. The American Heritage Dictionary entry classifies gringo as "offensive slang", "usually disparaging", and "often disparaging". The usages of gringo sometimes are derogatory, paternalistic, and condescendingly endearing, especially when a foreigner condescends to the people and culture he or she is visiting. Swami Naktap found all of this to be rather too much to digest, and just figured that Gringo also meant the worst major league team in Cobbfather.
Prediction: 38-124 - 4th place