In what might be one of the most shocking news items of the season, star prospect Luis Carrasco turned down a higher value offer from the Florida Shark Waves to sign with
the formerly luckless Jacksonville Klines. Reports out of Miami have stated that the Shark Waves offered the Cuban defector Carrasco a deal worth 13.845 million dollars, whilst the contract that was signed with the Klines is reported to be worth 12.7 million dollars. When asked why he took a deal worth roughly 1 million dollars less than another offer on the table from the hometown team, Carrasco said, "I sign contract, very good. Idol Dallas Kline is hitting idol." When asked if the Cuban national spoke any English, he said, "Me like the English! Bud Light!"Carrasco, who represented himself in the negotiations after defecting from his communist homeland, might have been swimming in his head with the complex contract negotiations, or from the many glasses of wine and beer he was rumored to have consumed before he signed his contract. Sacramento Fighting Cornish Hens scout Matty Ortiz, who discovered Carrasco playing stickball in Little Cuba in Miami, said Ortiz had problems with legal language. "I tried to explain to him that a big league deal didn't mean he would be able to actually play on the big league squad, but that concept had trouble getting through his head. I think the Klines might have signed him though subterfuge and alcohol, as my drinking buddy Vic was in a world of his own until I told him about Carrasco over a couple shots. Then he stumbled out of the bar and said that he would 'sign that there player.' At least I think that's what he said, it's a bit cloudy."
Victor Gil, the scout who signed Carrasco, was
unavailable for comment, as he was passed out at a Jacksonville bar when our reporters were scheduled to meet with him. However, the Klines did issue an official statement about the signing. "Victor has been scouting for Jacksonville for over 60 years (since Ploppie first became a grandfather). While he has not lived a perfect life, we stand by him in denying these allegations." But there is no denying that the Klines scored big when Carrasco inked his name on their dotted line.