Swami Naktap - Special to Cobbfather Post Gazette
AL East
Huntington Heat (100-62, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap knows many things, and one of them is that the Heat will be measuring their home runs in degrees Kelvin, their offense is that hot. But Huntington's Eble Park is a different animal than the friendly confines of Trenton, and it could result in more offensive explosions than the pitching staff would like to see. But swami says that with the additions of Ed Morris and Mendy Washington, the Heat should be too hot to handle this season.
Prediction: 100-62 - 1st place
Boston Massacre (81-81, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap was not in the time or space of the original Boston Massacre, so he cannot comment on it's context to this baseball team. But if Swami Naktap sees what kinds of massacres are about to occur this season in Boston, and it is the annihilation of both exceptional and pitiful play, leaving only the remains of mediocrity. .500 is a noble goal, but swami says it isn't revolutionary.
Prediction: 81-81 - tie for 2nd place
Durham Radicals (79-83, 3rd place)
--Swami Naktap says that in chemistry, radicals (often referred to as free radicals) are atoms, molecules or ions with unpaired electrons on an otherwise open shell configuration. These unpaired electrons are usually highly reactive, so radicals are likely to take part in chemical reactions. Radicals play an important role in combustion, atmospheric chemistry, polymerization, plasma chemistry, biochemistry, and many other chemical processes, including human physiology. In baseball, Swami Naktap says Radicals are a .500 team.
Prediction: 81-81 - tie for 2nd place
Burlington Huskies (72-90, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap sees a great shift in organizational philosophy in the move from homer happy Hartford to the more bunt appropriate Burlington. Swami says that there isn't enough pitching to fully take advantage of the cavernous surroundings, but the superior defense should bail the pitchers out. Swami also sees a great amount of one run losses until the offense or pitching staff can become elite.
Prediction: 80-82 - 4th place
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Season 2 Preview - NL East
Swami Naktap - Special to Cobbfather Post Gazette
NL East
Tampa Bay Cyclones (81-81, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap sees a storm brewing in Tampa Bay, and a devastating cyclone is not out of the picture. The lineup is talented top to bottom, and should shower opposing pitching with many hits. The pitching staff has great control of their pitches, but their stuff isn't the thing riptides are made of. Still, a division championship could come spinning down from the clouds.
Prediction: 95-67 - 1st place
New York Primetimers (70-92, 3rd place)
--Swami says that the only problem with prime time is that it is on too late for east coast viewers, and too early for the west coast. With games going past midnight in primetime, Swami Naktap wonders who will be awake to see this young and exciting team. If they can stay up past their bedtimes, viewers should be able to watch New York compete for a wildcard spot.
Prediction: 92-70 - 2nd place
San Juan Orioles (89-73, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap thinks the move from the fast paced east coast lifestyle of Dover to the laid back tropical attitudes of San Juan may have a detrimental effect on the motivation of the Orioles players. It's hard to summon the motivation to compete when the rum and sun is so good in your home city. Still, Miguel Guererro and Justin Post should be able to tear themselves away from the luxuries of San Juan long enough to power the Orioles to a winning season.
Prediction: 85-77 - 3rd place
Pawtucket G-Maniacs (52-110, 4th place)
--Swami says it is a good thing the management of the Pawtucket team fixed the renaming contest, becuase otherwise the winner would have been the KAA-THUD, which is the sound that will be heard quite often in Pawtucket when frustrated G-Maniacs bang their fists on gatorade tubs. Jonathan Sheldon was a good signing in the offseason for the G's, but
NL East
Tampa Bay Cyclones (81-81, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap sees a storm brewing in Tampa Bay, and a devastating cyclone is not out of the picture. The lineup is talented top to bottom, and should shower opposing pitching with many hits. The pitching staff has great control of their pitches, but their stuff isn't the thing riptides are made of. Still, a division championship could come spinning down from the clouds.
Prediction: 95-67 - 1st place
New York Primetimers (70-92, 3rd place)
--Swami says that the only problem with prime time is that it is on too late for east coast viewers, and too early for the west coast. With games going past midnight in primetime, Swami Naktap wonders who will be awake to see this young and exciting team. If they can stay up past their bedtimes, viewers should be able to watch New York compete for a wildcard spot.
Prediction: 92-70 - 2nd place
San Juan Orioles (89-73, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap thinks the move from the fast paced east coast lifestyle of Dover to the laid back tropical attitudes of San Juan may have a detrimental effect on the motivation of the Orioles players. It's hard to summon the motivation to compete when the rum and sun is so good in your home city. Still, Miguel Guererro and Justin Post should be able to tear themselves away from the luxuries of San Juan long enough to power the Orioles to a winning season.
Prediction: 85-77 - 3rd place
Pawtucket G-Maniacs (52-110, 4th place)
--Swami says it is a good thing the management of the Pawtucket team fixed the renaming contest, becuase otherwise the winner would have been the KAA-THUD, which is the sound that will be heard quite often in Pawtucket when frustrated G-Maniacs bang their fists on gatorade tubs. Jonathan Sheldon was a good signing in the offseason for the G's, but
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Season 2 Preview - AL North
Swami Naktap - Special to Cobbfather Post Gazette
New York Pride of the Yankees (99-63, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap sees the best 99 win team in the league last season bettering that feat, and leaping past Fargo into 100 win territory. Naktap sees what might be the most powerful offense in the history of modern baseball of all time, ever, beyond all doubt, blast the haters right out of the Bronx. But swami says that even though the young pitching staff is good, they are not as collossal as their counterparts in the lineup.
Prediction: 101-61 - 1st place
Fargo Rat Bastids (108-54, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap sees a team that dealt away it's two best players in Moises Tererro and Ed Morris, and does not see who will replace the 100+ HR's lost in the trades. Swami says that Fargo will be competitive, but not the juggernaut they were last season when they flamed out in the playoffs after earning a first round bye. Like a graceful ballerina tripping in a critical part of a dance, Fargo will fall into a wildcard spot from their previously lofty heights.
Prediction: 98-64 - 2nd place
Sioux Falls Great Danes (71-91, 3rd place)
--Naktap sees great leaps forward from the Great Danes, chasing the ever closer giant Snausage that is the division championship. But Swami also sees the Great Danes being corralled by the electric fence of 3rd place, as Fargo and New York have a leash around Sioux Falls neck. As the abundant litter of puppies in the minor leagues grow into fierce gargantuan dog beasts, the Great Danes will break free of their position in the standings, but this year, they will be begging for table scraps from the top tier of the NL North.
Prediction: 81-81 - 3rd place
Augusta Angry Armadillos (65-97, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap wonders what an Armadillo does when it is angry. He thinks it rolls up into a ball and hides, stewing all the while cursing its inability to do anything other than roll away. Swami says that Augusta will have a similar season, unless Pinky Matheson can start every game for Augusta, and even then that might be an adventure. There is enough talent to keep Augusta from ending the season as roadkill, but swami expects a lot of close calls along the way.
Prediction: 72-90 - 4th place
New York Pride of the Yankees (99-63, 2nd place)
--Swami Naktap sees the best 99 win team in the league last season bettering that feat, and leaping past Fargo into 100 win territory. Naktap sees what might be the most powerful offense in the history of modern baseball of all time, ever, beyond all doubt, blast the haters right out of the Bronx. But swami says that even though the young pitching staff is good, they are not as collossal as their counterparts in the lineup.
Prediction: 101-61 - 1st place
Fargo Rat Bastids (108-54, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap sees a team that dealt away it's two best players in Moises Tererro and Ed Morris, and does not see who will replace the 100+ HR's lost in the trades. Swami says that Fargo will be competitive, but not the juggernaut they were last season when they flamed out in the playoffs after earning a first round bye. Like a graceful ballerina tripping in a critical part of a dance, Fargo will fall into a wildcard spot from their previously lofty heights.
Prediction: 98-64 - 2nd place
Sioux Falls Great Danes (71-91, 3rd place)
--Naktap sees great leaps forward from the Great Danes, chasing the ever closer giant Snausage that is the division championship. But Swami also sees the Great Danes being corralled by the electric fence of 3rd place, as Fargo and New York have a leash around Sioux Falls neck. As the abundant litter of puppies in the minor leagues grow into fierce gargantuan dog beasts, the Great Danes will break free of their position in the standings, but this year, they will be begging for table scraps from the top tier of the NL North.
Prediction: 81-81 - 3rd place
Augusta Angry Armadillos (65-97, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap wonders what an Armadillo does when it is angry. He thinks it rolls up into a ball and hides, stewing all the while cursing its inability to do anything other than roll away. Swami says that Augusta will have a similar season, unless Pinky Matheson can start every game for Augusta, and even then that might be an adventure. There is enough talent to keep Augusta from ending the season as roadkill, but swami expects a lot of close calls along the way.
Prediction: 72-90 - 4th place
Monday, August 11, 2008
Season 2 Preview - NL North
Swami Naktap - Special to the Cobbfather Post Gazette
After Miss Cleo proved to be a disaster in terms of billing and payments, the Cobbfather Post Gazette has contracted with respected prognosticator Swami Naktap, who has looked deep within the future of Cobbfather to determine who will ultimately prevail this season. Here are his predictions.
NL North
Cincinnati Flying Pigs (92-70, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap sees the great Santa Klaus bringing lots of gifts in the way of HR's and RBI's to the Flying Pigs. Naktap thinks the Pigs pitching isn't quite flying, perhaps more akin to a blimp or zeppelin than a jet, enough to get into the air but not enough to move very fast. The Queen City will once again have a winning team, but it might not be enough to hold the division.
Prediction: 90-72, 1st place
Syracuse Sycophants (64-98, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap saw the productive offseason the Sycophants had, and approves greatly of the new management. Naktap sees Cody Bell and Gordon Oliver having seasons worthy of a small shrine on the mantlepiece, but also sees Ralph Fonville and Billy Abercrombie competing for least effective starting pitcher in Sycophants history. Naktap likes the lineup, and thinks it will power the team quite well.
Prediction: 85-77 - 2nd place
Minnesota Blue Oxen (85-77, 2nd place)
--Naktap sees the Blue Oxen outperforming the quality of their lineup, and once again holding a winning record at the seasons termination. Swami says that the Blue Oxen's bullpen will swing a mighty axe and cut down opponants like Paul Bunyan does saplings. But the star quality in Minnesota is like that of a polluted sky, you can see them but they do not burn very bright.
Prediction: 84-76 - 3rd place
Rochester Rolling Rocks (66-96, 3rd place)
--Swami says that the lineup and pitching staff for the Rolling Rocks is like an empty pita pocket. All of the filling is currently playing in the minor leagues, leaving just a bland and wheaty bread experience for the fans at the big league level. Naktap cannot wait for the prospects to develop for a better gastronomical experience at the ballpark.
Prediction: (
After Miss Cleo proved to be a disaster in terms of billing and payments, the Cobbfather Post Gazette has contracted with respected prognosticator Swami Naktap, who has looked deep within the future of Cobbfather to determine who will ultimately prevail this season. Here are his predictions.
NL North
Cincinnati Flying Pigs (92-70, 1st place)
--Swami Naktap sees the great Santa Klaus bringing lots of gifts in the way of HR's and RBI's to the Flying Pigs. Naktap thinks the Pigs pitching isn't quite flying, perhaps more akin to a blimp or zeppelin than a jet, enough to get into the air but not enough to move very fast. The Queen City will once again have a winning team, but it might not be enough to hold the division.
Prediction: 90-72, 1st place
Syracuse Sycophants (64-98, 4th place)
--Swami Naktap saw the productive offseason the Sycophants had, and approves greatly of the new management. Naktap sees Cody Bell and Gordon Oliver having seasons worthy of a small shrine on the mantlepiece, but also sees Ralph Fonville and Billy Abercrombie competing for least effective starting pitcher in Sycophants history. Naktap likes the lineup, and thinks it will power the team quite well.
Prediction: 85-77 - 2nd place
Minnesota Blue Oxen (85-77, 2nd place)
--Naktap sees the Blue Oxen outperforming the quality of their lineup, and once again holding a winning record at the seasons termination. Swami says that the Blue Oxen's bullpen will swing a mighty axe and cut down opponants like Paul Bunyan does saplings. But the star quality in Minnesota is like that of a polluted sky, you can see them but they do not burn very bright.
Prediction: 84-76 - 3rd place
Rochester Rolling Rocks (66-96, 3rd place)
--Swami says that the lineup and pitching staff for the Rolling Rocks is like an empty pita pocket. All of the filling is currently playing in the minor leagues, leaving just a bland and wheaty bread experience for the fans at the big league level. Naktap cannot wait for the prospects to develop for a better gastronomical experience at the ballpark.
Prediction: (
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